Pakistani gharon mein rishte ki baat aksar walidain shuru karte hain, aur bachay chup chap sunte rehte hain. Phir aik din achanak pata chalta hai ke "larki walay Jumme ko aa rahe hain". Kai naujawan apne dil ki baat kehna chahte hain, lekin adab, sharm ya darr ki wajah se keh nahi paate. Natija ye hota hai ke ya to woh na-pasand rishta qabool kar lete hain, ya baat itni bigarr jati hai ke ghar mein tanao paida ho jata hai.
Ye article un naujawanon ke liye hai jo apne walidain se rishte ke bare mein adab ke saath, magar saaf baat karna chahte hain.
Pehle ye samajh lein: walidain dushman nahi
Zyada tar walidain jo karte hain, mohabbat aur fikr mein karte hain. Unhein darr hota hai ke umar nikal jayegi, achha rishta haath se nikal jayega, ya log baatein banayenge. Agar aap is fikr ko samajh kar baat shuru karenge to woh aap ki baat bhi zyada dhyan se sunenge.
Sahi waqt chunein
- Jab ghar mein mehmaan na hon aur mahaul pur-sukoon ho.
- Jab koi aur jhagra ya pareshani na chal rahi ho.
- Akele mein, na ke poore khandan ke saamne.
Kabhi kabhi ammi ya abbu mein se ek se pehle baat karna asaan hota hai. Jo zyada samajhne wala ho, us se shuru karein.
Apni baat tayyar karein
Ghabrahat mein aksar baat ulajh jati hai. Pehle khud se poochhein:
- Mujhe asal mein kya kehna hai? (Mujhe ye rishta pasand nahi / mujhe abhi waqt chahiye / mujhe koi aur pasand hai / mujhe ye cheez zaroori lagti hai)
- Meri wajah kya hai?
- Main walidain se kya chahta/chahti hoon? Sirf sunna, waqt dena, ya faisla badalna?
Chahein to apni baat ek kaghaz par likh lein. Isay parhna zaroori nahi, lekin likhne se zehan saaf ho jata hai.
Baat kaise shuru karein
Kuch jumle jo madad karte hain:
- "Ammi, main aap se rishte ke bare mein kuch baat karna chahti hoon. Aap mujhe thora waqt de sakti hain?"
- "Abbu, mujhe pata hai aap mere liye achha soch rahe hain. Main bas apni ek fikr aap ko batana chahta hoon."
- "Mujhe ye rishta bura nahi laga, lekin mujhe faisla karne ke liye thora aur waqt chahiye."
Shuru mein hi shukriya aur adab dikhane se baat ka lehja narm reh jata hai.
Agar aap ko rishta pasand nahi
Seedha "nahi" kehne ke bajaye wajah batayein, lekin doosre insan ki burai na karein:
- "Hamari soch mein bohat farq laga, maslan career aur rehne ke bare mein."
- "Mujhe un ke saath baat karke itminan mehsoos nahi hua."
Yaad rakhein: shadi mein aap ki raza zaroori hai. Islam aur qanoon dono is ki tasdeeq karte hain. Lekin is haq ko adab ke saath istemal karna aap ki zimmedari hai.
Agar aap ko koi aur pasand hai
Ye sab se mushkil baat hoti hai. Kuch mashwaray:
- Pehle khud yaqeen kar lein ke ye sanjeeda faisla hai aur doosri taraf bhi sanjeedgi hai.
- Walidain ko us insan aur uski family ke bare mein haqaiq batayein: talim, kaam, family, shehar.
- Walidain ko unki family se milne ka mauqa dein, taake woh khud faisla kar sakein.
- Agar foran "na" ho to bahes na karein. Waqt dein aur kisi samajhdar rishtedar se madad lein.
Hamare article pyar ki shadi ya arrange marriage mein is mauzu par aur baat ki gayi hai.
Agar aap abhi shadi ke liye tayyar nahi
Ho sakta hai aap talim mukammal karna chahte hon, naukri pakki karna chahte hon, ya zehni taur par tayyar na hon. Walidain ko ek wazeh plan batayein: "Mujhe ek saal chahiye taake main apni job settle kar loon. Uske baad main poore dil se rishte dekhne ke liye tayyar hoon." Ghair-wazeh "abhi nahi" ke muqable mein ek plan walidain ko zyada mutmain karta hai.
Agar baat bigar jaye
- Awaaz unchi na karein, chahe doosri taraf se ho.
- Baat ko us din ke liye wahin chor dein: "Main baad mein aap se aaram se baat karna chahta hoon."
- Kisi aise shakhs se madad lein jis ki walidain izzat karte hon: chacha, mamu, khala, ya koi alim.
- Kabhi bhi ghar se bhaagne ya chhupkar faislay karne jaisa qadam na uthayein. Aise faislay aksar zindagi bhar ka dukh bante hain.
Walidain ke liye do baatein
Agar ye article aap parh rahe hain to apne bachon ke liye ek darwaza khula rakhein. Unhein bolne dein, beech mein na tokein, aur un ki pasand-na-pasand ko sanjeedgi se lein. Jo bacha aap se khul kar baat kar sakta hai, woh aap ki rehnumai bhi zyada qabool karta hai.
Mukhtalif soorat-e-haal, mukhtalif andaaz
Jab walidain kisi rishtedar ka rishta tay karna chahein
Ye soorat-e-haal sab se nazuk hoti hai kyunke "na" kehne se khandan mein naraazgi ka darr hota hai. Walidain ko batayein ke aap us rishtedar ki izzat karte hain, lekin shadi ke liye zehni aur fikri mutabiqat zaroori hai. Hamara article cousin marriage is mauzu par madad kar sakta hai.
Jab aap larki hon aur baat karna mushkil lage
Kai gharon mein betiyon ke liye rishte ki baat karna aur bhi mushkil hota hai. Agar ammi ya abbu se seedhi baat mushkil ho to kisi bari behan, khala ya phuppo ke zariye baat pohanchayein jo aap ki baat samjhe aur adab se aage barhaye. Yaad rakhein ke rishte ke liye aap ki raza deeni aur qanooni dono lihaz se zaroori hai.
Jab aap bahar rehte hon
Overseas rehne wale naujawan aksar video call par hi walidain se ye baatein karte hain. Koshish karein ke aisi ahem baat aram ke waqt, lambi call par karein, na ke jaldi mein. Agar mumkin ho to chhuttiyon mein ghar aakar aamne saamne baat karein.
Walidain ki aam fikrein aur unka jawab
- "Umar nikal rahi hai." Walidain ko batayein ke aap sanjeedgi se rishta dhoond rahe hain, aur aap ka plan kya hai. Fikr ko nazar-andaz na karein, usay tasalli dein.
- "Log kya kahenge?" Narmi se yaad dilayein ke zindagi aap ko guzarni hai, logon ko nahi. Lekin unki samaji fikr ko bhi samjhein.
- "Hum ne zindagi dekhi hai, hum behtar jaante hain." Unke tajurbe ki qadar karein aur unse mashwara maangein. Saath hi apni wajahein bhi saaf batayein.
- "Itna achha rishta phir nahi milega." Unhein yaqeen dilayein ke aap rishton ko sanjeedgi se dekh rahe hain, aur achhe rishte aate rehte hain.
Aksar poochhe jane wale sawal
Agar walidain baat sunne par tayyar hi na hon?
Sabr karein aur dobara koshish karein. Kabhi kabhi pehli dafa walidain ghusse mein hote hain, lekin chand din baad zyada narmi se sunte hain. Kisi aise rishtedar ki madad lein jis ki baat woh maante hon.
Kya walidain ki marzi ke khilaf shadi kar leni chahiye?
Ye bohat bara faisla hai jis ke dur-raas asraat hote hain. Pehle har mumkin koshish karein ke walidain ki raza shamil ho. Jaldbazi mein faisla na karein, aur kisi alim aur samajhdar buzurg se mashwara zaroor lein.
Agar main walidain ki pasand se khush nahi lekin na kehne ki himmat nahi?
Na-khush shadi sab ke liye takleef ka sabab banti hai, walidain ke liye bhi. Apni baat kisi bharosemand ke zariye pohanchayein, lekin pohanchayein zaroor. Khamoshi ka nateeja aksar zindagi bhar ka pachhtawa hota hai.
Akhri baat
Rishte ka safar walidain aur bachon ka mushtarka safar hai. Adab, sabr aur imandari se ki gayi baat aksar woh darwaze khol deti hai jo khamoshi se kabhi nahi khulte.
RishteyPk par families mil kar rishte dhoondti hain. Free profile banayein aur apne walidain ko bhi shamil karein.
