Online rishta platforms have made it far easier for families to find suitable matches across cities and countries. Unfortunately, the same convenience attracts people who are not looking for marriage at all. Pakistan's National Cyber Crime Investigation Agency (NCCIA) has reported receiving hundreds of thousands of cyber fraud complaints over the last few years, and marriage and romance scams are a familiar pattern within them.
The good news is that most scams follow predictable patterns. If you know the warning signs, you can enjoy the benefits of searching online while keeping your family, your money and your privacy safe.
Nine warning signs
1. They ask for money, in any form
This is the clearest sign of all. It may be framed as a medical emergency, a customs fee for a "gift" sent from abroad, a visa cost, a business problem or a loan "until next week". A genuine rishta does not need your money. Never send money, mobile balance, gift cards or cryptocurrency to someone you have not met in person with your family.
2. The relationship moves unusually fast
Declarations of love within days, talk of marriage before families have spoken, or pressure to "decide quickly" are designed to rush you past careful thinking. Real families take time.
3. They avoid family involvement
A serious match will be happy for parents to talk. Be cautious if someone keeps postponing family calls, has a story for why their parents cannot speak, or wants to keep the conversation "just between us for now".
4. They never appear on video
Excuses about a broken camera or poor connection, repeated over weeks, are a strong warning sign. A short video call with family present is a reasonable and normal request.
5. The profile looks too perfect
Model-like photos, an impressive overseas job, a large income and almost no specific details is a common combination. Reverse image search on suspicious photos can show if they have been taken from elsewhere on the internet.
6. Their story keeps changing
Small inconsistencies, such as a different city, age or job in different conversations, add up. Make a quiet note of what is said and notice whether it stays the same.
7. They push you off the platform immediately
Moving straight to WhatsApp or another app removes the protections a platform gives you, such as reporting and blocking. Keep early conversations on the platform until you are confident.
8. They ask for private photos or documents
Requests for personal photos, CNIC copies, bank details or one-time passwords are never needed at an early stage. Private photos are sometimes used for blackmail. Say no and stop the conversation.
9. They claim to be stuck abroad or in an official process
Stories about being held at an airport, a frozen bank account or a parcel stuck in customs are classic scams. Real officials do not ask you to pay through personal accounts.
How families can protect themselves
- Keep your phone number private until you are comfortable. On RishteyPk, your number is hidden from other members by default, and you choose whether to share it.
- Involve family early. A parent or sibling in the conversation is the strongest protection there is.
- Verify through real people. Before meeting, confirm the family's background through relatives, neighbours or colleagues who genuinely know them.
- Meet in public, with family. First meetings should be at a family home or a public place, never alone at an address you have not checked.
- Use the platform's tools. Keep a blurred photo if you prefer, report suspicious profiles and block anyone who makes you uncomfortable.
- Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it usually is. You do not owe anyone an explanation for stopping a conversation.
If you think you are being scammed
- Stop sending money immediately, even if they promise to return what you have already sent.
- Save evidence: screenshots of chats, profile pages, phone numbers, bank or wallet transaction receipts.
- Report the profile to the platform. On RishteyPk, open the profile and choose Report; it goes straight to our moderators.
- Contact your bank or mobile wallet provider straight away if money was sent. Fast reporting sometimes allows transactions to be stopped.
- File a complaint with the NCCIA. Pakistan's National Cyber Crime Investigation Agency accepts complaints through its online portal at complaint.nccia.gov.pk. Attach your evidence.
Being scammed is not a sign of foolishness. These schemes are built by people who do this every day, and they target kindness and hope. Talking about it openly helps protect others.
Common scam stories, and how to spot them
The overseas professional
A profile presents a doctor, engineer or businessman living abroad, often with impressive photos. After weeks of affectionate messages, an emergency arises: a frozen account, a hospital bill, a legal problem. The request is always the same: send money now, and it will be returned soon. Genuine overseas professionals do not need money from a family they have never met.
The gift stuck in customs
The person says they have sent expensive gifts, jewellery or cash. A few days later, someone claiming to be a customs officer or courier calls, asking for a "clearance fee". No legitimate customs process asks for payment into a personal bank account or mobile wallet.
The visa sponsor
Someone promises to arrange a spouse visa or job abroad after marriage, but needs money for "processing". Visa fees are paid through official government channels, not to individuals.
The blackmailer
After building trust, the person asks for private photos or video calls. Later they threaten to share them unless money is paid. If this happens, do not pay. Save evidence and report it immediately; paying usually leads to more demands.
The fake proposal agent
Someone offers to arrange a "guaranteed" rishta with a wealthy family in exchange for an upfront fee, then disappears. Be cautious of anyone charging large sums with promises that sound too good to be true.
Protecting elderly parents
Scammers sometimes target parents directly, because they are eager to help their children and may be less familiar with online fraud. Talk to your parents about these patterns. Agree as a family that nobody sends money or shares documents connected to a rishta without discussing it first.
Digital safety basics
- Use a strong, unique password for your matrimonial account and email.
- Never share one-time passwords (OTPs) with anyone, for any reason.
- Be careful with links sent by strangers; they may be designed to steal login details.
- Check privacy settings on social media; scammers often study public profiles to make their stories convincing.
- Do not post your full address, workplace or daily routine publicly.
Frequently asked questions
Can money sent to a scammer be recovered?
Sometimes, if it is reported to the bank or wallet provider very quickly. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Report immediately and file a complaint with the NCCIA.
Should I confront the scammer?
It is usually better not to. Confrontation can lead to threats or deleted evidence. Stop responding, save everything and report.
What if I am embarrassed to tell my family?
Many people feel this way, and scammers rely on it. Telling a trusted family member is the fastest way to stop further losses and get support. You are the victim of a crime, not the person at fault.
How do I know if a profile I like is genuine?
Take it slowly. Involve family early, have video calls, verify details through real people and never send money. Genuine people will understand and welcome these steps.
What genuine profiles usually look like
Real profiles are rarely perfect. They tend to have a few ordinary photos, specific but modest details, and families who are happy to talk. Real people ask sensible questions about your family and values, accept a slower pace, and never ask for money. When in doubt, slow down. A genuine match will still be there next week.
Read our safety and security guidelines for more tips, and our earlier article on spotting early red flags in your rishta search.
