Pakistani dramon ne saas bahu ke rishte ko aksar jhagron aur saazishon ki kahani bana kar pesh kiya hai. Haqeeqat mein bohat se gharon mein saas aur bahu ke darmiyan maa beti jaisa pyar hota hai. Lekin ye taluq khud ba khud nahi banta; isay dono taraf se samajhdari, sabr aur izzat se banana parta hai.
Is article mein hum dono ke liye kuch amli mashwaray dete hain.
Shuru ke din sab se ahem hain
Shadi ke pehle chand mahine poore rishte ka lehja tay karte hain. Bahu naye ghar mein hoti hai, har cheez nai hoti hai, aur saas bhi apne bete ki zindagi mein aik naye shakhs ko jagah de rahi hoti hai. Dono taraf thori bechaini fitri hai.
Bahu ke liye mashwaray
- Ghar ke tor tareeqay samjhein. Har ghar ka apna nizam hota hai. Pehle dekhein aur samjhein, phir tabdeeli ki baat karein.
- Izzat aur narmi se baat karein, chahe aap ki raaye mukhtalif ho.
- Saas se mashwara lein. Khana pakane ka tareeqa ho ya ghar ka koi faisla, mashwara lene se unhein ehmiyat ka ehsas hota hai.
- Apne maike ki har baat ka muqabla na karein. "Hamare ghar mein to aise hota tha" bar bar kehna takleef deta hai.
- Shikayat seedhi karein, idhar udhar nahi. Agar koi baat bura lage to pehle shohar se aram se baat karein.
Saas ke liye mashwaray
- Bahu ko waqt dein. Usay naye ghar ki aadat hone mein waqt lagega.
- Usay beti samjhein, mulazim nahi. Ghar ke kaam baant kar karein; saara bojh aik shakhs par na dalein.
- Uski talim ya career ki izzat karein. Agar woh kaam karti hai to us ki mehnat ko samjhein. Dekhein working women aur shadi.
- Miyan biwi ki zindagi mein had se zyada dakhal na dein. Mashwara tab dein jab maanga jaye.
- Doosron ke saamne tanqeed na karein. Rishtedaron ke saamne bahu ki burai rishte ko bohat nuqsan pohanchati hai.
Shohar ka kirdar: sab se ahem
Saas bahu ke rishte mein sab se bara kirdar aksar shohar ka hota hai. Woh aik taraf maa ka beta hai, doosri taraf biwi ka shohar. Dono zimmedariyan saath nibhana zaroori hai.
- Maa ki izzat karein, lekin biwi ki izzat-e-nafs ki hifazat bhi karein.
- Kisi ek ki shikayat sun kar foran faisla na karein. Dono ki baat alag alag, aram se sunein.
- Biwi ki shikayat maa ke saamne aur maa ki shikayat biwi ke saamne na dohrayein.
- Ghar ke kaam aur faislon mein khud bhi hissa lein.
Hudood kyun zaroori hain
Achhe taluq ke liye wazeh hudood zaroori hain. Maslan:
- Miyan biwi ka kamra unki private jagah hai.
- Miyan biwi ke aapas ke jhagre unhein khud hal karne dein.
- Bachon ki parwarish mein bunyadi faislay walidain ke hon, nana nani dada dadi mashwara dein.
Rehne ki jagah ke bare mein hamara article joint family ya alag ghar bhi parhein.
Chhoti chhoti cheezein jo bara farq dalti hain
- Subah salam aur raat ko khairiyat poochhna.
- Saas ki pasand ka khana kabhi kabhi banana.
- Bahu ki tareef doosron ke saamne karna.
- Saath mil kar koi kaam karna, jaise bazaar jana ya Eid ki tayyari.
- Aik doosre ki sehat aur aaraam ka khayal rakhna.
Jab ikhtilaf ho
Ikhtilaf hona fitri hai. Zaroori ye hai ke usay kaise sambhala jaye:
- Ghusse mein baat na karein. Thanda hone ke baad baat karein.
- Masle par baat karein, shakhsiyat par nahi.
- Agar khud hal na ho to kisi aise buzurg se madad lein jis ki dono izzat karte hon.
Mukhtalif nasal, mukhtalif soch
Saas aur bahu aksar do mukhtalif zamaanon ki parwarda hoti hain. Saas ne shayad aik bara khandan sambhala ho, jahan ghar ka har kaam khud kiya jata tha. Bahu shayad university gayi ho, naukri karti ho, aur ghar ke kaam ka andaaz mukhtalif ho. Dono ka tajurba qeemti hai. Agar dono aik doosre se seekhne ka rawaiya rakhein, to ye farq kamzori ke bajaye taqat ban sakta hai.
- Saas ka tajurba: ghar sambhalna, rishtedariyan nibhana, mushkil waqt mein sabr.
- Bahu ka nazariya: naye tareeqay, talim, aaj ke zamane ki samajh.
Agar bahu kaam karti ho
Kaam karne wali bahu ke liye ghar aur daftar dono sambhalna mushkil hota hai. Saas agar is mehnat ko samjhe aur ghar ke kaam mein taawun kare, to bahu ke dil mein khud ba khud izzat aur mohabbat paida hoti hai. Isi tarah bahu agar chhutti ke din saas ke saath waqt guzare aur ghar ke kaamon mein hissa le, to saas ko bhi ehsas hota hai ke woh ghar ka hissa hai.
Bachon ki parwarish par ikhtilaf
Pote poti aane ke baad aksar naye ikhtilaf paida hote hain: khana, neend, padhai, ya daant daapt. Behtar ye hai ke:
- Walidain bunyadi faislay karein, aur dada dadi ke mashwaray ko izzat se sunein.
- Bachon ke saamne aik doosre ki baat na kaatein.
- Ikhtilaf ki soorat mein baad mein, akele mein, aram se baat karein.
Shikayat karne ka sahi tareeqa
Har ghar mein kabhi na kabhi shikayat hoti hai. Farq is mein hai ke shikayat kaise ki jaye:
- Waqt chunein: ghusse ke foran baad nahi, balkay thande dimagh se.
- "Main" se baat karein: "Mujhe bura laga jab…" bajaye "Aap hamesha…".
- Hal ki taraf barhein: sirf shikayat nahi, balkay ye bhi batayein ke aap kya chahte hain.
- Shohar ko beech ka aadmi na banayein har chhoti baat ke liye. Kuch baatein seedhi aur narmi se ki ja sakti hain.
Aksar poochhe jane wale sawal
Agar saas har baat mein tanqeed karein?
Pehle sabr aur narmi se kaam lein; kai dafa tanqeed fikr ka ghalat izhar hoti hai. Agar ye had se barh jaye to shohar se aram se baat karein taake woh hikmat se apni walida se baat kar sakein.
Agar bahu ghar ke tor tareeqay na apnaye?
Usay waqt dein, pyar se samjhayein, aur kuch tabdeeliyon ko qubool bhi karein. Ghar ka nizam waqt ke saath badalta hai.
Kya alag ghar hi masle ka hal hai?
Kabhi kabhi alag rehna faida mand hota hai, lekin rishte ki behtari asal mein rawaiye se aati hai, deewaron se nahi. Hamara article joint family ya alag ghar parhein.
Khulasa
- Shuru ke mahine rishte ka lehja tay karte hain; sabr aur narmi se kaam lein.
- Bahu ghar ke tor tareeqay samjhe, saas usay waqt aur beti jaisi jagah de.
- Shohar dono ki izzat ki hifazat kare aur insaaf se sune.
- Miyan biwi ki private zindagi aur faislon ki hudood ka khayal rakhein.
- Chhoti chhoti mohabbat bhari baatein bare farq dalti hain.
Akhri baat
Saas aur bahu dono aik hi shakhs se mohabbat karti hain. Agar dono is mohabbat ko muqable ke bajaye mushtarka zimmedari samjhein, to ghar mein sukoon aur barkat aati hai.
